From Bud to Bloom
Updated: Sep 5
How many versions of ourselves are waiting to be birthed?
On Saturday, I performed a song for a masterclass at Opera Queensland - something I have been doing once or twice a year for the last few years. Every time I perform there, I try to extend my capabilities in some way - choosing a piece, usually an operatic aria, that is challenging for me to perform in one way or another. This might involve particularly high notes, particular depth of emotion, long held notes, coloratura, or, in the case of Saturday, a piece that required more movement and flirtatiousness than I had previously chosen. To perform a 'sexy' song, felt like the last frontier. After all, I had been avoiding it since I first started performing. Waiting for my turn, I felt sick and shaky. I could have chosen something less challenging or chosen a different song at any time leading up to the workshop. But there I was, and it was time to go on.
I gave my music to the pianist, and walked on to announce my song, "Meine Lippen, sie küssen so heiß'', translated in English as ''My lips, they kiss so hot'' or, in the poetic English version that I sang on Saturday, as ''Kiss my lips and your heart is aflame''. We had a professional opera singer as a coach, and she said, ''She's not shy''. Those who remember the little girl who practically did not speak, and the fifteen-year-old or even the thirty-year-old I used to be, will understand how surprised I am when I now hear this said about me. Although I had developed an identity as a singer from the age of eight, I didn't sing solo in public until I was almost seventeen. To do so was far beyond my comfort zone at the time. So, despite my terror on Saturday, I was told that I must have had a lot of stage experience, as I am very comfortable moving on stage and singing flirtatious songs such as this.
One of my favourite things about life is to look back and realise how far I've come. Deep inside us, from a young age, are buds of knowing waiting to bloom. We know we are much more than is seen by the outside world, and by ourselves. We see other versions of ourselves waiting to be born, even if we have not developed the capacity to believe in ourselves to the level that they can manifest. Last year, at the Mind Body Spirit Festival in Brisbane, I had an introductory chat with a spiritual coach, and she asked me to describe my most expanded future self and what I would be doing. I told her that I would be standing on stage, speaking. Now, there was, and is, still a part of me that is asking why I would possibly want to do that - why anyone would want to do that, and why I see myself as capable of doing something that at one time was probably one of my greatest fears. Nevertheless, for several years now, I have seen it - I see myself speaking on stage, the way I have always envisioned myself singing for others in a much greater capacity.
A few months ago, I was offered some group tutoring work for Uni, online, for early childhood students. This is another role I had avoided up until then - despite having worked as a trainer and assessor in Early Childhood Education and Care for a few months during my years in Melbourne. Having experienced burnout and chronic fatigue a few years ago, I am selective about accepting experiences that might be particularly stressful for me. I prefer that they be aligned with my values and personal choices for expansion. The subject was Babies and Toddlers, and years ago this was my niche for some time. Also, due to the visions of myself speaking in public, this felt like my path. The way I felt about this experience a few months ago and the way I'm feeling about it now are very different. I was very nervous at first, but now I look forward to the sessions, and enjoy sharing thoughts, ideas, and my past experiences with the students. This semester, I'm tutoring for two courses rather than one. Although my years working with children were challenging, I have great affection for them and a strong calling to continue to advocate for children's education and protection in any way I can.
Walking through the Botanic Gardens in Brisbane, I sighted this incredible tree, awash with pink blossoms - my favourite colour. People were lined up to capture photos of this beautiful tree and photos of themselves beneath it. The fallen flowers made a rose-coloured carpet on the grass and on the path headed up the hill. This was a tree in full bloom, unafraid to stand tall in its magnificence - allowing the sunlight to shine through its branches - allowing itself to be seen without apology. This beautiful tree awakened appreciation and awe in people. It opened the hearts of those who saw it and were inspired to photograph their young children playing amongst the petals. If we allow the buds within us to bloom, we too will inspire others - we too will open people's hearts and create frames for them to see the light. I believe this is our true purpose in being here. Earth is stepping up into a more expanded version of Herself - she is blooming and blossoming into a new world. We, also, are instrumental in this process. When we step into our full magnificence, we transmit rose-coloured love frequency across the planet, assisting its ascension. Feel into that deep inner knowing of who you are and who you are destined to become. The world needs you. Your potential is infinite. You are the hero or heroine of your journey.
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