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  • Writer's picturePenny Muller

10 Steps for Finding Your Style

Updated: Mar 1, 2022

Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world - Marilyn Monroe

Yes she can! - and this goes for men as well.

The feeling of stepping on stage in a new pair of fabulous shoes - is amazing! I'm afraid it became a bit of a tradition over the years when I had a performance coming up. The right shoes (and clothes) make such a difference to how we feel. Let's explore this. It's time for something a bit lighter, anyway.

....Everything that you read in my blog posts is for me as well as for you. I write, not because I have all the answers, but because I am committed to up-levelling my life in every possible aspect, as you are - because I love to source all the juiciest insights that I can find, filter them through my life experience, and tie them all up in a lovely little package that can be shared...

Are you ready....

To take a good look at yourself in all your wondrous imperfection - as you are right now, with your innate personality, at this age, with this face, and with this body?

Are you ready....

To present yourself to the world as you are right now - expressing your personality as it is right now, your age as it is right now, your face as it is right now, and your body as it is right now?


Because, we are always changing, we are always worthy, we are always 'enough', and we can always use that extra bit of confidence.

Step 1. Know (and love) your personality

I believe that we're born with preferences, that we will explore our preferences throughout our lives, and that these preferences will sometimes be more extreme and sometimes more balanced. Life forces us to engage with things that are less-preferred, or we might choose to challenge ourselves by engaging with things that are less-preferred, and so we become better at them. This causes more balance in our personalities. Under stress, however, our personalities can revert to extremes, as we reach for our more comfortable, preferred ways of thinking, feeling and existing in the world. There is no right or wrong personality, as every trait has its more negative or positive aspects. The challenge and the gift are one. For example, extroversion is a great asset in the workplace, but can be challenging during a pandemic. So, own your personality, capitalise on your strengths, and proudly dress to express them.

Step 2. Know your lifestyle

Your lifestyle should play a big role in your style choices. I wouldn't recommend to go out and stock up on those things that "everybody needs" in their wardrobe. If you dress in what "everybody needs", you will not feel like you. Our style preferences will continually change as we learn more about ourselves. Our ages will change, our weights or shapes may change, and fashion will change very rapidly. Keeping it minimal will mean that you're ready to adapt your wardrobe to all of these things and to your ever-evolving lifestyle - jobs, hobbies, locations, etc.

Step 3. Reflect on your past clothing choices and how you felt in them

Remember those things that always felt fantastic and those that never felt quite right? Try to think back and reflect on why this might have been the case. Was it the colour, fabric, fit, style? Jotting down some notes will help with the next three steps.

Step 4. Know your energy

I absolutely love what I've learned about energy profiling during the past few months. Wearing outfits that reflect your natural energy is the missing piece of the puzzle that you've been looking for. Outfits / clothes / fabrics / jewelry / hairstyles consist of many elements - colour, stretch, weight, stiffness, density, shine, etc. When these are in sync with our natural energy we feel so right, if they are at odds with it, we will not have the emotional, mental and physical ease that we are wanting. When our outfits reflect our energy, other people, also, will intuitively understand who we are, and will be able to respond to us in ways that better serve us (see the links below for more about energy profiling).

Step 5. Know your yin / yang balance

This is relatively new to me too, and I think it's also fascinating. Everything in the world consists of yin and yang elements. You might call these masculine and feminine elements / energies. Our faces and bodies also consist of these elements in varying degrees. A long or angular body is more yang, a softer, rounder body is more yin. Chiseled cheekbones are more yang, fleshy cheeks are more yin - I'm talking about the face here. When the balance of yin and yang elements in our faces and bodies are reflected by yin and yang elements in our clothing, we feel great and our overall look becomes harmonious. This is talked about a lot in fashion - for example, taking elements from traditionally masculine fashion to add edge to traditionally feminine fashion (see the links below for more about body geometry).

Step 6. Know your colours

Style experts might say that everyone needs a black blazer or a white shirt. No, no, no! Ignore these rules, as they will work for some people and not others. Enthusiasts have expanded the Colour Me Beautiful system to recognise that people with light, medium and dark shin tones can have either warm-toned skin or cool-toned skin. This is affected by the veins and capillaries under the surface of the skin. They also talk about skin tones being muted or bright, and that the contrast between skin tone, hair, eyebrows and eyes also matters. Low contrast means that all these elements are similar in colour, and high contrast means that they are different - usually light skin and dark hair / eyebrows. Energy profiling is the best system I have discovered for learning which colours are right for you - both systems work together beautifully. The right colours will make you 'pop'. Your skin will be clear, your eyes will sparkle, and the overall vibe between skin and clothes will gel.

Step 7. Buy the best quality you can afford

Clothes of higher quality will most likely feel more comfortable, fit and sit better, and look better. I guarantee that you will feel more put together in better quality clothes. Low-quality fabrics will probably not wash or wear well, and you will probably never feel amazing in them. To upgrade your life, you will need to feel richer, and higher-quality clothes will help with this. Better to have fewer clothes of higher quality. Also, better ethically and environmentally.

Step 8. Stay current

I recently heard a style expert on YouTube, Kay Harms, say that if you try to look younger, you might look like you're trying too hard, but if you make an effort to look modern, you will look younger. I thought this was good advice. Be yourself, and if you suit classic styles, stay classic, but add modern elements. Make sure your hairstyle, makeup, jewelry and shoes are up-to-date. It may just require a little tweaking. It does take some research and observation, though. Look at what people are wearing on the street, what is in the shops, and what people are wearing on TV or on social media for ideas.

Step 9. Add a little something extra

This is another tip from Kay Harms which I liked. When putting an outfit together, a little something extra is needed to ensure that 'put together' look. She suggests gold or silver belts or shoes, or some animal print. Carol Tuttle, inventor of energy profiling, also advocates for accessories as part of her 'dressing your truth' system. A little something extra can take an outfit from bland!

Step 10. Add your own flair

This is the little something extra on top of the little something extra. This is where 'put together' becomes artistry. This is where you shine. Once your outifts are reflecting your personality, your lifestyle, your yin / yang balance, your colours, some quality, some modernity and some accessories, you will feel and look like a person who is master of his or her life. You will feel and look like someone who knows yourself, is in touch with the world around you, values yourself, is smart, is capable, and is on the ball. Adding your own flair will take you from looking like master of your life to artist of your life. This might mean adding a little quirkiness, cuteness, sexiness, fun, flamboyance, extravagance, or whatever is the essence of you. Being an artist of your life in terms of your style might also mean adding any one of these elements on given days, in different situations, or around different people. Artistry means taking all the many aspects discussed in all of the above steps, and using them to play, explore and create who you are and who you want to be.

It should be fun!

I have discovered lots of experts who are talking about all of the above topics, so please give feedback if you would like me to break down any of these topics in future blogs, and provide links to all the wonderful experts who are out there.

Remember, when you dress well, you are showing the world that you are a person who knows who he or she is. You are showing people who you are, and you are also telling people how you want to be treated. This can bring new opportunities, allowing you to take your life to a new level. I believe it's worth pursuing.

To learn more about personality, you might read my blog post: Is Something Missing?

To understand energy profiling, you might read my blog post: Love Your Energy, and learn about the wonderful Carol Tuttle

To learn about yin / yang balance, you might read my blog post: What Should I Wear? Also, I would recommend the links within the blog post, including

PinkroseAustralia | Etsy for my spiritual / self-development printables / templates. or for my eBooks.

Pinterest to follow me on Pinterest.

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