Is it okay to choose what most aligns?
My current belief is that we choose to journey in a human body, not to be tested or to suffer, but to experience. On a higher spiritual level, in a dimension that has polarity, experiences are neither good nor bad, they simply are. Our experiences and actions contribute to the experiences and growth of others, regardless of how we might label them. So, is an action 'bad' if it positively affects the growth of another? Perhaps not for the other person, but it may produce karma for us. Or does it? Is karma just a human construct? My mind in this body finds these concepts difficult to comprehend. My upbringing is to view actions as 'good' or 'bad'. However, perhaps it is the intention that matters most. Perhaps, it is the motivation behind the action that determines our level of soul growth.
We all have themes that run through our experience in each lifetime. One of mine is the challenge of setting boundaries for my experience. I have always preferred to be the recipient of others' positive feelings and energy. I have always felt uneasy if confronted by conflict or negative energies. Acknowledging that I have held fear in this area has enabled me to accept the responsibility for this issue as mine. I alone am responsible for allowing others to trespass on my boundaries. I alone am responsible for the resentment I feel as a result of relinquishing my right to choose. Now, fully accepting responsibility for my experience, I am able to release resentment and make choices that support my alignment. Were those who attempted to usurp my boundaries to support their alignment in the wrong, or am I a 'bad' person for not relinquishing my alignment to support theirs? These are questions I still grapple with.
There are practical aspects to be considered here. Our lives are full, with many demands on our time and energy. We only have so much time and energy available. As part of the experience we have chosen to have, others may place demands on us in order to facilitate their needs and desires being met. We simply don't have the time and energy to meet the needs and desires of everyone who places these demands. We must set boundaries for our health and wellbeing. And, what of our own needs and desires? Is it 'selfish' to want to prioritise these? My religious upbringing taught me that it was. A 'good' person was one who sacrificed his or her desires for others. It never occurred to me to label those who placed demands, who wanted to utilise me for their own alignment, as 'selfish'.
I have been blessed with the ability to easily read the motivations of others, so if others attempt to manipulate me, it is with my consent. I understand, also, that hurt people hurt people, so with access to any information about their personal story, I can take an educated guess at the reason for the manipulation. Fear is the basis of these types of behaviours. When I understand the person's fear, I can have compassion and forgive the behaviour. It is my decision, however, as a sovereign being with free choice over my experience, whether I allow that person's behaviour to affect my emotions or experience, or whether I choose to spend time in the company of that person.
When we understand energy and frequency, we are able to view our right to choose from a broader perspective. Our personal vibration affects the energy field of those around us, as well as the frequency of the planet. As more of us learn to raise our vibration, Earth and the greater Universe are able to expand. As a result, those contained within will continue to evolve in consciousness. Our ability to raise our frequency is a superpower that can expand the Multiverse, so I believe it is pretty important. Other people cannot lower our frequency. It is our choice to allow that. However, if we relinquish our free will, the feelings of resentment and frustration, the lack of freedom to choose, will lower it.
My habitual behaviour is to consider others' feelings in my decision-making. I still struggle with feeling 'selfish' if I make choices that may affect someone's feelings or sense of worth. I don't go out of my way to make choices that will hurt others, and I don't think this is necessary or advisable. I feel into my emotions and my body when I make decisions. The more I practice this, the more aware I become. If my body says ''no'', I know I have to say ''no''. The more extreme the body's reaction, the more confirmation I have that a boundary needs to be put in place. A few years ago, my body let me know that it was time to listen. Because I had overridden my own needs, my body almost stopped functioning. If we don't take back our sovereignty as humans, our higher selves will step in, and sometimes it's not pretty. We are destined for soul-aligned paths, and our higher selves will guide us towards them. This can involve suffering, if we allow it, so it's better to choose soul-alignment before we fall into painful experiences.
I am learning words to use when others attempt to place demands on me. Words like, ''I have commitments'' - commitments to my soul and body to say ''no'' to experiences that do not feel safe or fulfilling for me. Words like, ''I have made plans'' - plans to spend time by myself, or on my own projects, or with others, or resting. Words like, ''I need some quiet time'', because having time for reflection and inner work, and replenishing my social energy, enables me to experience a high vibration and bring my best self to social situations. Or, words like, ''This doesn't feel right'', because I have the right to be in alignment, and without alignment, I lose my effectiveness in the world. If I am not in alignment, all I touch has the potential to fall into disarray. Although I like to feel safe, if they are in alignment, I choose experiences that challenge me. I differentiate between nervous anticipation and lack of alignment.
As I do my inner work to raise my frequency and maintain alignment, those who are resonating on similar frequencies want to be in my company. I begin to notice more distance from those who are not resonating. I will see them and hear from them less often. I allow the distance, as it is their soul choice, knowing that this is the way the energies of the Universe work. Perhaps we will come together again as our frequencies realign. Perhaps our frequencies will never realign. This is not within my control. My responsibility to my soul is to maintain the highest frequency I can, regardless. This means to be as free of fear as possible, to cultivate as much appreciation as possible, to love joyfully, and to live with joy. It means to cherish all aspects of my 'human' to the best of my ability, knowing I am part of Source energy and am worthy of the utmost care and love.
It isn't always easy, but we must continually strive to prioritise our alignment. Our souls' purposes on this Earth must be fulfilled. As we love and appreciate ourselves, we will love and appreciate others. Those feelings of fear and resentment will dissipate. And because of this, those who align with our frequency will be those who are primarily living in alignment with love and appreciation, rather than with fear. Those in alignment with love and appreciation will have no need to place demands on others or attempt to manipulate to support their needs and desires. Therefore, we will no longer need to set boundaries for our own protection. We will no longer attract people into our lives that usurp our boundaries, or situations that feel out of alignment. All will fall into place in Divine timing and with Divine coordination. The higher our frequency of love and appreciation and positive expectation, the more our lives will settle into flow and ease rather than struggle.
PinkroseAustralia | Etsy for my spiritual / self-development printables / templates.
Penny Muller Teaching Resources | Teachers Pay Teachers for teaching resources.
Penny Muller (@pennyrmuller) • Instagram photos and videos to follow me on Instagram.
Pinterest to follow me on Pinterest.
Or you can buy me a coffee: Penny Muller is Spiritual / Self-Development Blog: pennymuller.com (buymeacoffee.com)