Why You Are Enough
Updated: Feb 1
Consider joining the I Am Enough movement.
Yes, this is a real movement, led by rapid transformational therapist Marisa Peer. Through her highly-regarded work with hundreds of people worldwide, she discovered that there was one, single root cause of the barriers that each person was experiencing that was preventing them from living their best lives. From rich to underprivileged, from ordinary people to celebrities, from actors to sportspeople to business people, all had issues that they were trying to overcome. In all the different ways that humans can experience the human experience, all didn't feel that they were quite 'enough'.
I was thrilled with the response to my last blog post about laziness, and reflecting on the comments that I received, I think this is what we've just tapped into. Life has taught us to assign labels to ourselves, it has reinforced numerous rules for appropriate behaviour and achievement, and it has hit us with a one-size-fits-all mentality. It has taught us that our choices are limited, that there are narrow paths that we are required to traverse, and that we are being monitored and found wanting - and if not, that we should keep a tight rein on ourselves and find ourselves wanting. It has taught us that we're not enough.
I would like to join Marisa Peer in spreading the news that we are enough, that we are more than enough, and that we are absolutely, beautifully enough, just as we are.
What if this was the secret to all that has been missing for us, to everything that has been holding us back?
I'd like to reflect on what being 'enough' might mean.
It might mean that we were born with unique preferences, and that these preferences are gifts and signposts to show us where we need to go. The truth is, life choices are not limited, they are infinite, and without our unique preferences we would be overwhelmed with too much choice.
It might mean that we have an innate nature that gravitates towards people with similar innate natures. Without having an innate nature to guide ourselves towards the people with whom we want to spend time, it would be difficult to find a sense of belonging and acceptance.
It might mean that we have special gifts that were designed to be different from other people's special gifts. These special gifts help us to decide how we want to use our time, and what we are being called to contribute to the world and to those around us.
It might mean that we have individual circumstances that affect us, individual levels of energy, health concerns, childhood traumas, environmental limitations, family responsibilities, and that this means that our choices and behaviours will not be able to mimic those of others.
It might mean that we all came to this earth for different reasons, to learn different lessons and to make different contributions.
And, it might mean accepting that at every moment of our lives we are doing the best that we can with the knowledge and understanding that we have at the time - I'm not sure whether to attribute this to Oprah or Lousie Hay, as I've probably carried it around with me for over 15 years (both women are/were wonderful sources of wisdom that should not be underestimated).
I might just reinforce this, because it is so beneficial to keep in mind. We are always doing the best that we can with the knowledge and understanding that we have at the time. Every person is at a different place in relation to each different subject. In other words, we all have different issues, challenges and barriers that we're facing. When we learn to have empathy for those issues, challenges and barriers that others face, we will learn to have compassion for our own - and visa versa.
We are all doing the best that we can, and if we accept this, it is impossible not to see ourselves as being enough.
I felt that I really struggled in the transition to adulthood, and I saw so many young woman around me experiencing the same struggles. I decided, back then, that one day I would do something to help young women have a smoother, more empowered transition. Because I didn't think I was enough, I waited much too long. Young women today are way out in front, and I can only watch them and learn. I had a lovely encounter with some young women yesterday when I went looking for jeans. Not only was I given lots of time and treated very sensitively, but I was told that it was so nice to be able to help someone, as when they were very busy, they were unable to give anyone any attention.
Our mothers and grandmothers were taught to use clothes to disguise parts of their bodies so that everybody looked more or less the same, and had the 'right' type of body. It was clear that these girls saw clothes as a way of showcasing their uniqueness, rather than disguising it, and that they believed that clothes should follow the lines of the body rather than creating shapes that are apart from it. Parents of young people, please understand that I am not saying that things are perfect, nor am I downplaying the pressures that this generation faces. I am only saying that I am seeing a gradual - or, for someone who is grappling with the idea that I am already old enough to be their mother, what seems to be a very rapid - movement towards celebrating individuality. Young people don't seem to be questioning whether sexuality is fluid, or whether gender is fluid. They're not seeing difference in the way that we might have.
I don't remember a single person in my primary school that was not caucasian. I felt completely different because I had frizzy hair and never ate white bread sandwiches with the crusts cut off. The range of what is considered acceptable has become broader over time. Looking back at the many fashion eras of history shows us that until recently there was very limited choice. We're no longer locked into the gender roles or work roles that were standard in the past. Young people are going to be looking at us in confusion, impatient for us to catch up with their ways of thinking. I really hope that I'm right. I hope that each new generation will show us what it means, not only to see ourselves as 'enough', but to recognize that the infinite differences between people are what makes the world so fascinating.
I hope we can get on this bandwagon now - and not waste precious moments of our lives wondering whether we are enough. And, that instead of reinforcing old patterns passed down from previous generations, we will allow our children to teach us. Perhaps that is their purpose. It's quite possible that each new generation comes to this planet to further its evolution, and that wisdom does not only reside in old bodies, but in old souls. Let's show up in the world as the full expressions of ourselves, and let's celebrate the idea that this is more than enough.
Peer, M. (2021). https://marisapeer.com/