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  • Writer's picturePenny Muller

Much More Than This

Updated: Dec 9, 2022

We are much more than our physical appearance, our outward behaviours, or our personalities.

Believe it or not, in my last healing session, my body requested to give me a channeled message. I want to share it in the hopes that it will bring comfort to those struggling with acceptance of self.

Dear One,

We are so grateful that you chose this body suit in this life. It has had its various forms, but each version has served you just as the clothing you wear on different days serves you. There have been times when we, the body, have made you rest, for good reason. There have been times when we, the body, have challenged you to address the social conditioning which many do not unravel. We are so proud of the work you've done. We wish and hope that you see yourself as an inspiration to other people who are going through the same journey. The body is always transforming and is a living organism which is transforming at a rapid rate, and so society's beliefs around staying in a constant state, whatever that is, is nonsense. It's like saying that a cloud is only a cloud if it looks a certain way on any given day. We are just like clouds, exposed to the elements at all times, and so it seems quite ridiculous to think that the human form is not subject to change. Please just notice how you feel in your body, rather than what it looks like. If you feel heavy, then address your heavy thoughts and become light again. Thank you for listening and know that we are always here, available to talk when you perhaps don't understand the journey of the form that we are taking. We are here to assist you at all times so that you are able to flow through life in a way that serves you, which is more inspiring, more graceful, more beautiful...

It feels so special to have this gentle, affirming message from my body. There are no accidents. Our bodies are exactly as we have chosen for this time and place in our lives. All aspects of our selves are equally as perfect. God, and our higher selves which are aligned with God, do not make mistakes. The learning that has resulted from my being in this body, at this time, has been invaluable. As with all life experiences, I am sure I will understand its full value on a greater level in hindsight. It is brave to heal those parts of ourselves that need healing, regardless of the opinions of others. It is with courage that we stand before the world and say, ''This is who I am in this moment''. When we allow growth and change in ourselves and others, we perceive ourselves and others with more clarity. We are in a state of continual evolution and there is no virtue in hiding the truth of who we are. There are so many aspects of ourselves to explore and there are so many beautiful experiences to be had. I choose to ensure that I no longer look back and wish I had fully experienced all that I desired in life. I don't want to regret that I chose to hide the parts of myself that I believed were not worthy rather than allowing myself to enjoy any experience that called me.

To prepare myself for a visit to relatives, as well as the healing/clearing session, I journaled naked for four hours in front of the mirror about all the aspects of myself, physical and otherwise, that I had ever disliked, hated, liked, loved or appreciated. I closed my eyes and visualised each year of my life from birth and wrote down every criticism I had experienced and many of the compliments I had received. I cried and punched pillows to ensure I had thoroughly experienced and processed the related emotions. I realised that throughout my life, I had overwhelmingly received mostly positive feedback from others, and few criticisms. I realised that I had overwhelmingly been accepted, valued and celebrated by those around me all of my life, and that my choice going forward was to fully and completely accept, value and celebrate myself as I am in each moment. When a family member mentioned, while I was visiting, that I had, ''plenty of padding'', I simply replied, ''Thank you''. I didn't explain or justify or even feel particularly upset about the comment. I saw it as an opportunity to establish my boundaries and ownership of myself; to continue to integrate all aspects of myself as mine - as belonging only to me. There was no longer any need to feel, act, appear or be in accordance with others' preferences or expectations. Their issues, fears, prejudices, or lack of understanding are theirs alone. My body or my expression of self is nobody's business.

Influenced by attitudes of society, religions, or our families, many of us have never felt completely 'enough'. Throughout my life, I have been plagued by these feelings of 'not enoughness' - I felt too fat, too quiet, too boring, etc., even when I wasn't. I recently realised that in the last two years, since my body changed, I have not worn a dress. It was time to express myself again as the feminine, graceful woman that I have always felt inside, regardless of how I feel I look to others, so I went shopping for a dress. I told my tale to the woman in the shop, who said, ''For me, it has always been my legs. I always wear long dresses to hide them''. Other women I know have told me, ''It's my moles'', ''It's my veins'', ''It's my body hair. I feel masculine because of it'', ''It's my skin/acne'', and ''I've never felt good enough''. Every person in every body and with every personality deserves to enjoy their life. An opera singer in a larger body that I follow on Instagram said that she deserves to feel the cool breeze on her bare arms on a hot day and the feeling of water lapping on her thighs in the ocean. She is absolutely right. She does. We all do. We all deserve to be comfortable, to experience our senses, to express ourselves, to be seen, to swim, to dance, and to enjoy food without apology. We deserve to be loved. I am sad to remember all the times I didn't feel I was worthy to enjoy the experiences that were available to me. I am sad to remember all the times I hid myself with shame or starved my body.

As my body said in its message, I don't always understand my body's journey, so it is impossible for me to attempt to justify it, and there is no need for me to do so. There is no need for you to justify any aspect of yourself either. We are all doing our best in every moment and we need to give ourselves credit for this. The human experience can be incredibly challenging, and we are superstars for surviving and navigating it with the grace we do. From the perspective of the higher self, or God / Goddess / Source, there are no right or wrong choices, as all decisions are part of our souls' journeys of evolution and advancement. Unconditional love, which is the love of God, does not judge. All is as it should be. I have never felt more appreciative of life, and of all the aspects of myself that I'm exploring and have yet to experience. We are not limited in the way that we sometimes believe ourselves to be. We are beautiful and inspiring and ever-growing. Sometimes we trigger others' fears and issues to aid their growth. We must allow their growth and separate ourselves from their judgements. They are not ours to carry.

You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens

- Louise Hay

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